Fifteen
or twenty years ago, I was at some book sale and I came across a collection of
condensed novels. I think some science
fiction magazine back in the 80’s condensed three or four novels from the early
1900’s to fit in a 100 or so page digest sized magazine. I picked it up – for maybe a dollar – because
I do have an interest in classic stories, to see what has and hasn’t changed in
storytelling over the last century. Of
course, things don’t often go to the front of my “To Read” pile so it was some
time before I started reading it. But I
didn’t get too far.
I
don’t remember the title or author of the first story, all I remember is that
it was about some guy who had some invention and he needed money to build it,
so he went to an estranged, rich uncle.
The uncle invited him to dinner, and the first course comes out and they
talk for a bit. The first course is
clean up, the second is brought out, and they talk a bit more. And I got so thrown out of the story that I
had to stop. What’s the issue, you
ask? Well, when I say they talked a bit,
I mean it was like, the First Course arrives, “How’s your sister?” “She died
last year of TB.” “I’m dreadfully sorry.” “These things happen.” First Course
removed, Second Course arrives. “How go
your studies?” “Very well.” Second Course removed, Third Course arrives.
Now,
I don’t know if in the original version their conversation was more in-depth,
or if there were long, awkward silences where the narrator looked around at the
paintings, or what. If I can ever find
that magazine again – it’s probably in a box in the attic – I’d love to look up
the original novel to see what was cut out.
But by the Third Course in less than a page, I was completely out of the
story. I’m not sure what deeper meaning
there could be for us having to know what each course was, so I’m not sure why
those details were kept.
I
bring all that up, because I’m … I guess you could say sensitive to the flow of
time in stories. For example, something
that makes me groan every time I see it is a standard thing in cop shows. In one scene the main characters are talking
at the station when they get a call for a body in a parking structure
downtown. The next scene they get out of
their car at the parking structure and continue their conversation as if there
wasn’t a twenty minute car ride in the middle.
I understand it’s done because they have the set for the station, and
the set for the murder scene, so they want to use them as much as
possible. And it would cost too much to
set up a third set in a car and CGI the traffic through the windows. I understand that, but it still takes me out
of the show.
Fortunately,
when writing a story, we’re not limited by a set budget. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t
issues. For example, in one of my
current projects, these people are staying out in the woods for a while and are
eating potatoes and fish cooked over a campfire. My characters will be talking and putting
food on to cook. They’ll then talk for
two or three pages. So far, so
good. But then, maybe only five minutes
have passed in their world so I can’t just have them eating still uncooked
potatoes. But I don’t want to just end
the scene and come back with them eating or cleaning up and have them start the
conversation again. Did they just sit
around the campfire for twenty minutes without saying anything of importance?
I
realize that few people would bat an eye if I continued a conversation after a time
jump, but it irks me. I’m doing my best
to have natural, realistic, flowing dialogue that drops in little bits of plot exposition,
but I don’t want to write half-an-hour’s worth of in world dialogue while the
potatoes cook. My solution, as such, is once
I’ve dropped enough plot points, I have a character – usually the dragon – tell
a story. And I do lead the conversation
to a story, I don’t just have the dragon stand up in the middle of something
and go, “Story time.” I don’t have to write the actual story, just have her
start telling a story about X and have some of my main character’s
thoughts. So in a paragraph or two I can
have a story that takes as long to tell as the potatoes need to cook. And then the normal conversation can begin
again as they eat. So they’re not eating
raw potatoes, they’re not sitting around the campfire silently, and while there
is a time gap it comes without the bluntness of “End Scene.”
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