Thursday, April 27, 2017

Random Writing Tips – That’s not how the world works

There’s a scene that seems to come up a lot in police procedurals.  One cop will say something like, “Come on, we got to go,” and they and another cop will walk out of the station.  Then there will be a commercial break, and when we come back we see them getting out of their car and the second cop asking, “Okay, what are we doing here?” In the real world, they would have spent ten or twenty minutes in the car driving to this location, and they just listened to the radio instead of talking about what was going on?  The reason the scene exists that way is because it is a lot easier and faster – and therefore much cheaper – to just film the actors getting out of a car and continue talking than to either have them drive through a city or green screen it in.  Because of the limitations in filming, we allow some unrealistic depictions of reality. 

But some shows take it too far.  For example, there is a show – which I won’t name – that had such a stupid scene I almost yelled at my TV.  Basically, a vigilante beat up a bad guy until he confessed.  But the vigilante recorded it all and sent that to the police.  Now, I’ve never been to law school, but even I know that if the police were dumb enough to take this coerced confession to trial the defense would wipe the floor with them.  Of course in the show that was all that was needed to get this bad guy off the street while I’m almost yelling at the screen, “That’s not how the world works!”

So my tip is that while you can get away with some unrealistic depictions of reality, they should be minor, only for storytelling bits.  If you go too far, you’ll have people yelling at the screen or book instead of being sucked into the story.

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Wednesday Writing Prompt for April 26, 2017

Write a sentence containing the following word: change

Here is my example:

No matter how bad things look, remember, the only constant is change.

Image from Pixabay.

Monday, April 24, 2017

Grimm Reviews – “The Sea-Hare”

“The Sea-Hare”

There was a princess who had twelve windows in her castle.  These windows let her see her entire kingdom in greater and greater detail.  From the twelfth window nothing could be kept secret from her. 

The princess thought rather highly of herself and decreed that she’d only marry the man who could stay hidden from her.  Any who tried to hide and she found would have their head cut off and stuck on a pike.  Ninety-seven men had tried and failed and their heads were now before her castle.  No man had tried to claim her in years.

But then three brothers tried their luck.  The eldest hid in a limepit, but she saw him from the first window and his head became number ninety-eight.  The middle brother hid in the palace cellar, and his head became number ninety-nine. 

The youngest brother asked for a day to think and asked that she overlook his first two attempts.  Because he was attractive, she said yes, but warned him that on his third fail his head would be number one hundred.

The young man thought for a long time, but couldn’t think of any place to hide.  So he went hunting.  He was about to shoot a raven when the bird said he’d make it worth his while not to kill him.  The man lowered his gun and went on.  He came to a lake and saw a large fish and went to shoot it, but the fish said he’d make it worth his while not to kill him.  So the man lowered his gun and went on. 

The man then came to a fox that was lame.  He shot at it, but missed.  The fox said he should pull the thorn from his foot, which the man did.  He then wanted to kill and skin the fox, but he said he’d make it worth his while if he didn’t.  Since it was evening, the man then went home.

The next day the man couldn’t think of a place to hide.  He went to the raven and asked him where he could be hidden.  The raven thought, and then took an egg from his nest and put the man in it.  The raven then sat on the egg.  At first the princess could not find the man, which made her uneasy, but she was able to spot him from the eleventh window.  She had the raven shot and the egg brought to her and broken open. 

The next day the man went to the fish and asked for a place to hide.  The fish swallowed the man and went to the bottom of the lake.  The princess could not find him until she looked out the twelfth window.  She had the fish caught and killed.

On the third day the man went to the fox and asked where to hide.  The fox thought, and then took the man to a spring.  The fox went into the spring and was transformed into a merchant who dealt in animals.  He had the man get in the spring, which turned him into a sea-hare.  The fox merchant took the sea-hare to town and many people were impressed with it.

Eventually the princess came and bought the sea-hare.  As he handed it over, the fox merchant told him to creep under her braids when she went to the windows to look for him.

When the princess looked for the man, she couldn’t find him from any of her windows.  She was so angry the whole castle shook and all the windows broke.  She found the sea-hare and threw it to the ground yelling at it to get out of her sight.

The sea-hare went back to the merchant who went back to the spring and they regained their original forms.  The man went back to the princess and married her, never telling her where he hid.  Since he was cleverer than her, she had respect for him.


I don’t care how lovely or wealthy a princess is, but if she has several dozen heads on pikes in front of her castle, I’d pass.

You’d think if your life depending on you finding a good hiding spot, you’d put some time into it before trying.  “I’m sure none of the previous ninety-seven guys was smart enough to hide in a limepit.”

“Your crazy rule killed both of my brothers, but I still want to marry you.”

So all these creatures had to say is, “Don’t shoot me, and I’ll make it worth your while,” and the guy wouldn’t shoot them and just keep going on his way without so much as asking for an IOU?

Who shoots fish?

So since the man hadn’t shot him, the raven will … abort one of his kids?

If the fox is so wise, how did he get a thorn in his foot?

Does this spring change every man into a sea-hare, or do you have to tell it what to change people into?

In case you don’t know what a sea-hare is, it’s a kind of mollusk.  How one could creep under a girl’s braids without her noticing, I don’t know.