Tuesday, October 5, 2021

Reboots, reboots, reboots

In the last few weeks, I’ve heard about attempts to reboot Quantum Leap, Babylon 5, even Jaws.  I understand that the entertainment business is a business, and they know they can safely make money by rebooting a beloved classic.  Even though half the money they make will be from people who only watch it so that they can bitch online about how the original was better, it’s still money.  And while they could make billions if an original project is successful and launches a franchise, it’s more likely an original project will only do okay, or even lose money.  I understand all of that, but it still hurts that there are countless fantastic movies and shows out there that will never be made because the risk on an unknown property is too great.

Having said all that, here are some thoughts I’ve had for a reboot of Star Wars, because you know it will happen someday. 

First things first, this idea is for three trilogies, with the idea that the nine movies would be released over nine years, none of this decades between trilogies crap.  Each trilogy would focus on one character, these being Anakin, Leia, and Ben.  The Force would also be a little different.  Everyone would have midichlorians, but there would be levels.  Like below 500 you’re just an average human.  Between 500-1000 you’re pretty agile and have quick reflexes, so you make a good pilot, or shooter.  Han is like a 900.  But when you have midichlorian levels over 1000, then you can start doing all the cool Jedi stuff.  And in my version the Jedi are monkish, but they do marry and have kids; that’s where the majority of new Jedi come from.

So I haven’t thought much on the Anakin Trilogy, but basically you start with an average Jedi kid who falls under the influence of Palpatine who is staging a decades long coup to take over the Galactic Republic.  Episode III ends with Padmé (also a Jedi) giving birth to Leia and Obi-Wan saying he’ll keep her safe, because they’ve all seen what Anakin is falling into.  Obi-Wan goes off to put her on a shuttle with all the other Jedi kids, but there’s a problem.  Or maybe Yoda stops him because he has seen a glimpse of the future.  But Anakin/Vader shows up at Padmé’s room wanting to see his child, but she tells him she’s fleeing with the other kids.  Anakin/Vader is upset, because Palpatine had him set a bomb on the shuttle.  They have a convenient window to watch the shuttle take off and then explode.  Anger at thinking his child is dead because she didn’t trust him, Vader kills Padmé.

Obi-Wan takes Leia to Bail Organa whose wife has just had a son, Luke, but they announce that she had twins to hide Leia.  Only the Jedi knew that Anakin had betrayed them, so Obi-Wan tells Bail that Anakin died a hero trying to save the children from Vader. 

The Leia Trilogy is set seventeen or so years later.  Luke and Leia are going around the galaxy learning the family business of politics.  But secretly, they are gathering information for the Rebellion.  In this version, the Rebellion is basically the Empire grinding out the last bits wanting to return to the days of the Republic.  And after almost twenty years, there’s not much left.  In their journey they come across Han and Obi-Wan.  Obi-Wan starts teaching Leia and Episode IV ends with her using her new abilities to save a bunch of prisoners on, say, Hoth. 

Episode V will center on how the Hero of Hoth has injected new blood into the Rebellion.  At first, Luke is happy for his sister, but he starts getting annoyed when she keeps overshadowing him.  Also, he’s upset that he doesn’t have the midichlorians to be a Jedi. 

Episode VI starts with the birth of Ben, who is then taken away from the warzone.  The Empire builds a Death Star and use it to destroy several planets in rebellion.  So there’s a big mission to destroy it and kill Palpatine.  Along the way Vader turns back to the Light Side before dying. 

The Ben Trilogy is set fifteen or so years later.  Things haven’t gone all that well.  Leia wants a return to the Republic, but Luke has the idea that a less evil Empire is the way to security, with him as Emperor, of course.  Since she spent so much time fighting a war, Leia never fully went into the Jedi side of her life.  But she wants Ben to be the core of the new Jedi Order that will help keep the New Republic in line.  Which is a lot for a teenager, especially one who just wants to spend time with his girlfriend Rey. 

I’m not sure exactly what happens, but after forty some years of civil war, the younglings of the galaxy want to move on, let the past die, and not be stuck with the dreams of their parents.  Whatever happens, Episode IX ends with the birth of Ben and Rey’s boy, Anakin.  Is the cycle of war and darkness over, or is a new cycle just beginning?


So those are my basic thoughts on the Star Wars reboot.  I know it’s not the real Star Wars, but hey, nobody’s perfect.