Random Writing Tips – Using common words for weird things

Over a year ago, I wrote a post on why writers should Chill on the weird words.  The basic idea, is if you jump right into a story and have characters drinking regilum and eating roasted glarthen all in celebration of Clathenmas Eve, you’ll end up with a lot of readers who are more confused than engrossed in the story.  Using weird words isn’t bad, it’s pretty standard in fantasy and science fiction after all, but if you use too many of them too quickly, you run the risk of the readers not knowing what is going on in the story, which is generally a bad thing.  You can use glossaries so you don’t have characters explaining the meaning of words they should likely already know, but there is a difference between learning a few weird words and learning a weird language.  Like most things in writing and life, there are balances that need to be found.

Anyway, I was thinking about this the other day and realized you can have the opposite issue: using common words for weird things.  I was able to think of an example, but it wasn’t that great of an example.  So instead, I came up with this extreme, hypothetical example to show what I mean.

Imagine a book where in Chapter 1 we’re introduced to Queen Whoever.  You would naturally assume that Whoever was the ruler of some kingdom.  But in Chapter 2, the Queen receives an order from some Emperor.  Well, maybe this empire conquered the kingdom, and in return for bending the knee the royal family was allowed to remain in charge of this area of the empire.  Then in Chapter 3 we learn that Queen is just the title of the head of the Emperor’s Dragon Guard.  Okay, so maybe this conquered kingdom was known for their dragon riders, and the royal bloodline was allowed to remain as the head.  But in Chapter 4 we learn anyone can work their way up through the ranks of the Dragon Guard to become Queen.  At this point we wonder why didn’t the author come up with some other word, maybe Clethex or something, to be the title for the head of the Dragon Guard in honor of Clethex the Brave, the first Dragon Rider. 

Sometimes, misleading terms can be used to set up a joke, or as a red herring, or whatever.  Like, if you’re writing a post-apocalypse story, I’m sure there will be plenty of current terms and slang that will have their meanings warp in their world.  Like, maybe they use netflix to mean die, because they found something about “Netflix and chill,” and they know that after you die, your body grows cold.  That may seem convoluted, but explain how “Netflix and chill” came about.  In other types of stories, if you use a common word for something weird, the readers will either be confused wondering what they’re missing, or waiting for a punchline.  And if you don’t deliver on either, it can leave a bad taste. 

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Image from Pixabay.

Writing in these dark times

I recently had an idea for a story.  Some 10,000 years from now, humanity is on the verge of extinction – for reasons – and they use all of their knowledge and the last of their resources to build a time machine to send someone back to tell us we need to change the path we’re on.  Not a terribly original idea – I think I’ve already written four or five stories like that – but the way this person arrives in our time was kinda new. 

I started thinking about it, and quickly realized that there will be a lot of history between now and then.  They’re not going to come back and just say, “To change your path you need to support this politician’s bill,” or whatever.  They might show up and be confused that the Roman Empire isn’t still around, or be like, “Oh, I guess this is before Nigeria took over the world.”

So what future message would they give to help us?  I played around with this for a while, and that was when I ran into an issue.  Maybe ten or so years ago, just the message, “The path you are on leads to our extinction,” would probably bring enough of us around to try to make the world a better place.  But now, it seems the more likely result would be, “How dare you say we are on the wrong path!” Do you really think the people that willingly voted for a convicted felon would heed warnings? 

Working through how this person would arrive and what message they could give us was fun; it was the joy of creation we get when we write.  But that joy was tainted by the bitter reality we currently find ourselves in.  And I almost threw this idea on the “Interesting idea, but not worth spending time writing it” pile, but the idea didn’t want to give up that easily.  Originally, I figured the original story would have to be a novella, at least.  But if I can figure out how to get it down to a short story, I’ll put it on the list of stories I want to write over the next few years as part of my Sisyphean task of rolling our reality towards a better world.  It is, as they say, “Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness,” and sometimes, those candles take the form of stories.

Random Writing Tips – You’re allowed “sick” days

 

It was probably over twenty years ago I read the advice that if you wanted to be a capital W Writer, you needed to write every day.  I thought that was a great idea, and so I started keeping track of how many days in a row I wrote.  At first, hitting a milestone, like 30 days, or 100 days, or 365 days, was great.  But after a while, there aren’t that many milestones.  The day this is posted, we be the 2853rd day I’ve written.  (That’s 7.8 years.)  

Writing every day for over seven years sounds impressive, and if I had been writing a thousand words a day, it would be.  But several hundred of those days my “writing” consisted of opening a document, reading a couple of sentences, changing a word, and calling it a day. 

There are plenty of reasons why one would not feel up to writing.  Maybe there was a death in the family, or you broke a rib and can’t get comfortable so you basically haven’t slept in a week, or maybe half your country voted for an authoritarian asswipe.  If you hold yourself to the “I must write every day,” mindset you’ll end up with many bleh days of writing.  And yes, bleh writing can always be edited into good writing, but after years of following it, I think Write Every Day should be seen as a guide, not a rule.  So if you want to try writing every day, just remember that writing is like any other job, and you can take sick days. 

Will I be taking any sick days?  Well, maybe after mid-April when I hit 3,000 days.  We’ll see.

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Image from Pixabay.

Election Day Sale

This election is almost over!  In a matter of days we’ll know if America will remain a land of democracy, or if it wall fall into fascism.  That’s assuming in the months after the election the fascists don’t burn the country down in their attempts to steal the election.  But that’s Big Challenge Number 2.  Big Challenge Number 1 is getting out and voting to show that the majority of Americans don’t want Orange Hitler back in the White House. 

Therefore, as with every election for the last decade plus, I’m having an Election Day Sale on several of my ebooks.  From Friday November 1st, through Election Day Tuesday November 5th, the following five ebooks will be free to download.  All I ask is that you vote.  If you need it, this site will help you find your polling place.  (Also, apparently, it’s technically illegal for me to give you something to get you to vote, but if a free ebook from an unknown author was the deciding factor on whether or not you voted, then the case could be made that anything could have been the deciding factor, like choosing not to vote because you didn’t want to stand in line after stubbing your toe that morning.  And it’s not like I’m dumb enough to just give people a million dollars.  Anyway, there’s no way for me to know if you vote or not, so you can take a book and not vote.  Which is fine, except in the sense that this election will determine the very fate of the United States.)

If you’ve already voted, then reward yourself with some free books.  If you haven’t voted yet, then grab something to read while you wait in line.  And if you’re not an American citizen, grab an ebook anyway and participate in your government however you can, because if nothing else, this election has shown that the forces of authoritarianism are everywhere, and they unfortunately don’t sleep.

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Political Pies

Everybody complains about politics, but does anyone do anything about it? My attempt to do something about it is to collect forty of my short stories with a political element into my Political Pies anthology. The stories are either politically neutral or equally condemning of the national parties. Instead of trying to sway you to one ideology or another, my goal is to just get people thinking about politics in the hopes a rose might grow out of all the political manure.

 

The All-You-Can-Read Buffet

The All-You-Can-Read Buffet is a collection of forty stories covering various genres and themes ranging from six to over 4,200 words in length. Some of these stories I wrote a decade ago, while others were written especially for this collection. All together, they are a buffet of my writing. As such, I encourage you to read as much as you want. Go back for seconds, thirds, fourths even. I won’t even mind if you skip over the stuff you don’t like, but, to quote your mother, “How do you know you don’t like it? Have you tried it?”

 

Relics

This work contains some profanity and sexual situations. It is intended for mature audiences only.

A plague that kills men has devastated the world’s population. Only a few thousand boys and men were able to be quarantined. But Mike Shay is the only man known to have a natural immunity to the plague. Therefore, he is practically the only man in a world of women. He spends his days reading, playing video games, and making the occasional sperm donation. Then Dr. Veronica Barrett shows up, disrupting what passes for his life. She says she’s there to investigate his “mental wellbeing,” but is there more to her visit?

Instead of the normal, adolescent, heterosexual male fantasy of being the only guy on a planet of women, “Relics” tries to give a more realistic view of Mike’s life.

 

The Future is Coming

As a science fiction writer, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how technology will change the way we live. I’ve come up with these ten short essays about science fictional elements that will – almost certainly – one day become science fact as a way for people to start coming to terms with them. Because I’ve spent time thinking about clones and AIs, I feel I’ll be okay when they do finally show up whereas most people will probably freak out. I hope these essays will get people to start thinking about the future because, no matter what we do, the future is coming.

 

Lonely Phoenix

Partway to a new colony world, board member Geoffrey Ames is woken from hibernation by the caretaking crew of the Lucian. They require him to look into the matter of their fellow crewman Morgan Heller. Morgan’s claims – such as being over 1500 years old – would normally land him in the psychiatric ward, except he can back up some of his other claims.

Writing Newsletter Third Quarter 2024

 

This quarter I continued writing a story each month on my website, publishing, “Sink to Their Level,” “Hot Enough for Ya?” and “Other Means.” I also reposted “Choices,” “Same Old Line,” and “Flaunt It” on my Ko-fi profile.  I also reposted the story “Hot Heads” on one of my blogs.

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If I counted correctly, this quarter I posted seven microfiction stories, which can be found on my Untitled Works Page.  I also, if I counted correctly, posted 17 haikus.  The links to them can be found on my Haiku Page.

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I think the only other writing news from this quarter was a decision I made about my writing plans for next year.  I’ll write up a blog post about that around the end of December, which will explain everything, so you’ll just have to wait until then.

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Image from Pixabay.

Fourth of July Voter Registration Drive Book Sale!

I know a lot of people are tired of being told that every election for the past decade WILL DETERMINE THE VERY SURVIVAL OF THE NATION!  But it’s true.  It seems every election now is a choice between democracy and the literal forces of evil.  And the fastest way for the forces of evil to fully seize power is if We The People can’t be bothered to vote.  To keep our democracy, we need to vote, in this election and every election.

But in order to vote, you need to be registered.  If you’re an American citizen who will be eighteen by Election Day, November 5th of this year, and you are not registered, I ask you to register.  Your state’s website should have all the necessary details.  

To try to sweeten the pot for people doing their patriotic duty, the week of the Fourth, three of my ebooks will be free to download.  All I ask is that if you download them, you register.  There’s no way for me to check if the people grabbing my books for free registered, so we’ll just go on the honor system.  Read them now, or hold on to them to have something to read while you wait in line to vote come November. 

But what if you’re already registered?  In that case I ask you to check your registration.  The list of voters needs constant updating as people register, move, and die.  And even without nefarious voter purges, it’s possible for mistakes to happen.  But if you catch the mistake now, you have plenty of time to get it fixed so that come Election Day, things will be smoother.  Your state’s website should also have the details on how to check your registration.

But what if you’re not American?  Well then, all I ask is that you participate however you can in your government.  The literal forces of evil aren’t just working here in the states.

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The following three ebooks will be free to download from Monday, July 1st, through Friday, July 5th.  The title links take you to the US site for the book.

Political Pies

Everybody complains about politics, but does anyone do anything about it? My attempt to do something about it is to collect forty of my short stories with a political element into my Political Pies anthology. The stories are either politically neutral or equally condemning of the national parties. Instead of trying to sway you to one ideology or another, my goal is to just get people thinking about politics in the hopes a rose might grow out of all the political manure.

A Man of Few Words

A Man of Few Words is a collection of fifty of my flash fiction stories. What would really happen if a “T-Rex on steroids” attacked a city? Why do science fiction writers make the best lovers? How does a company get to Second Base with VIPs? I explore these questions and more using less than 1,000 words and in various genres from humor to horror and general fiction to science fiction.

Duty

For reasons of safety and avoiding paradoxes, Time Travel Incorporated assigns a Guardian to all its travelers. So when there is an accident during political historian Roj Hasol’s trip back to 1968, it’s his Guardian Susan who sets out on the arduous task of cleaning up the mess.

Writing Newsletter Second Quarter 2024

 

In my last newsletter, I wrote that I had submitted a story for the first time in years, and I was waiting to hear back.  Well, I did hear back, and while they didn’t accept my story, they did say it was close and they hoped I’d consider them for another story.  Now I just have to write another story.

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This quarter I continued writing a story each month on my website, publishing, “When You Put it Like That,” “Let That Be a Lesson,” and “Die Trying.”  I also reposted, or posted, “Let it Rain,” “All the Money in the World,” and “A Whale of a Tale” on my Ko-fi profile.  I also reposted “I Just Write Stories” and “Ben’s Time Carriage” on two of my blogs.

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Two projects I’m slowly working on have me posting more microfictions and haikus.  In previous newsletters, I just had a link to each.  But that was somewhat tedious.  (If I counted correctly, I’ve published 18 microfictions and 16 haikus this quarter.)  I had made a page just for my microfiction, where I have the story with links to where it was published.  My haikus had been part of my poem page, but since I’ve been publishing so many of them, I decided to just make a new page for them. 

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I don’t really have any other writing news.  I’ve been busy getting our garden ready, and now I’m trying to keep the weeds from taking over.  So I haven’t had much time to write.  Will I get more time next quarter?  We’ll just have to see.

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Image from Pixabay.

Random Writing Tips – Accept the numbers game

 

For the first six or seven years I was on Twitter, I was rather hit or miss on trying to get followers.  I posted whenever, and followed people I though seemed interesting and just hoped they might follow me back.  But then I decided to be more active.  I started to regularly post stuff, and I started to build up my followers.  What I would do, is I would check out who was following someone interesting or somebody I was following.  I would then start following people with interesting bios.  But since there was a limit on how many people you could follow, I started keeping track of who I followed and if they followed me back.  I think every Friday I’d note the last person I followed, and if they didn’t follow me back within a week or so, I’d unfollow them.  Unless they were really interesting.

It took me a couple of years, but I eventually had just over 7000 followers on my writing account.  (I think I had just over 5000 followers on my personal account.)  How many of them were actually people, who were interested in what I posted (often links to my books), and who actually saw my tweets, I’ll never know.  But things were looking up.  Then came Musk.  For various reasons, I stopped posting on Twitter, stating that if an adult took over I’d be back.  But I think too much damage has been done and all my work to build up a following there is gone.

At some point, I had started a profile on Mastodon.  At first, it was just to be another site to reach a different audience, but when I left Twitter, it became my main social media and marketing platform.  I do regularly post stuff, although I’ve drastically cut down on posting links to my books.  Screaming into the Twitter void “Buy my book!” was perfectly normal, but constantly marketing – especially on my instance – isn’t the Mastodon thing, so I’ve been reduced to posting stuff that people will find interesting and maybe check out my books.  I haven’t tried too hard for followers, but I did recently break 300.

Marketing on Twitter was always weird.  I’d tweet about Book A, and then someone would buy Book B, but I never knew how they ended up on Book B.  I had started keeping track of what books I tweeted about and which books were bought, but the results were inconclusive.  But one thing that seems pretty clear is my books sales have dropped dramatically since I left Twitter.  Apparently, having thousands of followers did help. 

All of that was to get to my tip: accept that to really have any success selling books, you need to play the numbers game.  You could be your generation’s greatest writer, but if nobody knows about you, you won’t sell anything.  So between writing and revising and living your life and probably a day job, you also need to find a social media site – or better yet two or three – and put in the time to build up a following.  To that end, check out Mastodon, and maybe give me a follow.

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Image from Pixabay.

Ideas that don’t work

Recently, I had the idea for a scene where a 1950’s scifi writer was telling his agent about his latest novel.  It was set in that far off year of 2024, and told of the beginning of a robot rebellion.  The idea behind it was, while all the technology was wrong, parts of this robot rebellion sounds a lot like what people fear will happen when the AIs take over. 

It was a nice little scene, but I wasn’t sure what to do with it.  I eventually had the idea of this writer getting sucked to now, and he is amazed with how far we’ve come in some areas, smartphones, but disappointed in how little we’ve done, like, where are the Mars colonies?  At first, this seemed like an interesting idea.  He ends up with a granddaughter who is trying to finish and update some of the stories left behind when he mysteriously disappeared, and she has to beat the casual misogyny and racism out of him. 

I can’t remember if I had the first idea while I was driving to work, or while doing my mind-numbing day job, but I wrote the basics down in my writing notebook during my lunch break.  But I kept thinking about it when I went back to work, and that’s when things started to unravel.  Basically, everything was to have this grounded reality, but then there was this random time portal that … threw everything off.  I don’t know how long I thought about it, or how many little changes I made to try to get the story to work.  And when I finally had something that might work, I realized that it little to do with the original idea of a robot/AI rebellion, which had been the whole point. 

I have a whole folder of Dead Stories.  Some are just ideas I quickly figured out weren’t going to work, but others I didn’t figure out weren’t going to work until they were half-finished.  And I know that all the time spent writing – even work on Dead Stories – is still writing exercises that help future writing projects, but sometimes I wish I could put out a collection of my half-finished Dead Stories and people would be curious enough to buy it.  I mean, it is late stage capitalism, I need to monetize everything just to squeak by.  Say, have you checked out my most recent collection, The Uncapped Pen?

Short story – “I Just Write Stories”

“I Just Write Stories”

As a regular patron of the bookstore, Janet had often seen the fliers for the Pen Jockeys, the writing group that met every month in the store’s café.  She didn’t consider herself a writer, just a dabbler who wrote two or three short stories a year to post on her blog.  Several people – not just her friends – had said that she had talent and should write more.  After much debate, she decided to at least check out the writer group and see if she could learn anything from real writers.

In the café, two tables had been pushed together to make room for about a dozen people.  A sign in the middle of one proclaimed the tables reserved for the Pen Jockeys.  It was still about ten minutes until the meeting time, but two men and a woman already sat there.  They welcomed Janet and had her join them.

“I’m Brian,” the first man said.  “I write gay fantasy.”

The second man introduced himself as Doug.  He explained, “I write science fiction with strong libertarian underpinnings.”

“And I,” Samantha added, “write historical fiction with strong female characters.”

“It’s nice to meet you all,” Janet said.  “I … just write stories.”

The three looked confused.  “What kind of stories?” Doug asked.

Janet shrugged.  “Whatever comes to mind.”

“Do they have specific themes?” Brian asked.

“Um … no.  Just your basic run-of-the-mill stories.”

“What are you trying to achieve with them?” Samantha asked.

“Ah … they’re just fun.  I usually post them on my blog.” Janet looked around at them for a moment before asking, “Is that a problem?”

The three looked at one another.  “Well,” Doug began, “if you really want your writing to take off you need to write to a specific audience, be they gay, libertarian, feminist, what have you.”

“Oh,” Janet replied.  “Well, I’m just starting out, so I’m more interested in learning about writing, not the marketing aspects.”

“Writing is a business,” Brian stated.  “Too many people who want to be writers never learn that.”

Janet was quiet as she thought that over.

Samantha then asked, “You said you just write … for fun?”

“Yes.” Janet looked around.  “Don’t you?”

Beating a weird, coincidence horse

I believe it was a sometime in the summer of 2001, a few weeks after I moved into my first apartment, my phone rang.  I answered it, and a guy says, “Hey Steve, it’s Tom.”

I didn’t know any Toms, so I asked, “Who?”

He replied, “Tom,” slightly angrily.

I took a moment and thought.  I had gone to school with a Tom, but I hadn’t spoken to him in a decade or so, and there was no way he could have gotten this number.  “Who?”

“Karen’s brother,” he almost shouted. 

I almost shouted back, “Who the fuck is Karen,” but I stopped myself and said I think he had the wrong number.  I think in the following months there was a message or two on my machine for the other Steve, so apparently our numbers were very close.

Anyway, a few weeks ago I put up a post asking “What’s the weirdest conversation you’ve had?” and I gave a condensed version of that story.  A few days after I did that, I came across an old blog post I had done that resulted from that incident.  Apparently, I was trying to come up with a very short story, and I came up with an idea:

The story was set in one of those dystopian futures where people have numbers instead of names, for example, A517 or A to his friends.  Well, A sits down to a “genuine, vat-grown steak” when his comm buzzes.  He answers and someone goes, “Hey A, it’s T.” A doesn’t know any Ts, so T explains he works with R at the clone factory.

A still doesn’t know who T is, so T in frustration asks, “This is A571, right?”

“No, I’m A517.”

“Oh.  I’m sorry.  I guess I have the wrong number.”

Now, I know the first draft – let alone the rough outline – of everything sucks, but I highly doubt any amount of editing could turn that into something … halfway good. 

I wrote that in my notebook, and then forgot about it.  Some years later, I was flipping through my notebook and saw it, and wrote up the blog where I was thinking about an author putting out a collection of their terrible stories, and what would be a good title for it.  And I wondered if how we react to our bad stories could be some sort of personality test for writers. 

So, the chain of events: I got a wrong number call.  A few years later, I use that as the base for a failed short story.  A few years after that, I come across this failed short story, and use it for the base of a blog post.  Many years after that, I use the original wrong number story for a social media post.  A week or so later, I come across that old blog post, and use the whole story for this new blog post.  At this point, I’m wondering what I’m going to do with this in five, or ten more years?  Maybe I will put together a collection of my terrible stories, and I’ll basically just copy this for the introduction.

Writing Newsletter First Quarter 2024

 

Probably the biggest writing news for this first quarter of 2024, is that for the first time in years I’ve submitted a story to a magazine.  I’m still waiting to hear if they’ll accept it, but I hopefully will have good news on it for next quarter.

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I’ve continued writing a story for my website each month, publishing “Scheming,” “Outstanding Merit,” and “Always a Catch.” I’ve also posted “Deaf Ears,” “Always Have a Strong Finish,” and “Deadweight” on my Ko-fi account.  And I also posted “How Did They Get Our Number?” on one of my blogs.

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In these three months, I’ve posted microfiction stories on my Mastodon and Bluesky profiles on the following days: 1/12, 3/6, 3/11, 3/20, 3/23, and 3/25.  I’ve also posted haikus on 1/8, 2/19, 3/4, 3/18, and 3/26.  I’m slowly working on collections of both, so my plan is to post them more often to force myself to write the hundreds of each I need.  I guess we’ll see how well I do.

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In this quarter, I only managed one Free Story Idea, that of Star Jumping.  In my last Newsletter I wrote that I was thinking of only doing one a quarter, but I had been trying to do one every other month.  But, like other times, it seemed other things kept coming up.  And as with everything else, we’ll have to see what I’m able to do.

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Image from Pixabay.

Random Writing Tips – You need to write

 

Your reaction to the title was probably along the lines of, “No shit.” So let me explain my point.

A couple of years ago, I wrote a previous Random Writing Tips about Schedules.  In that I talked about how if people know every third Tuesday there will be a new Random Writing Tips post on your blog, they’ll be more likely to check it out.  And I figured having schedules for posts on social media would work as well.  I had a schedule of posts I did on Twitter, which I modified when I moved over to Mastodon.  And over the past year, I’ve added new things to post.  For example, every Tuesday there’s a writing quote, I pose a question every Thursday, and I have a poll every other Sunday.  To keep track of all of this, I have an Excel document where I can check off everything once I schedule or post it.  The system is a bit cumbersome, but I’ve used it for so long I know how to work through its problems.

Then last week, I had an idea for a new system.  And I probably spent several hours setting this new system up.  The over simplified explanation, is that I went from each row representing a week, to each row representing a day.  And with some functions I just learned how to use, it should be easier for me to see what I still need to do to keep to my schedule. 

And if you’re wondering what does all that have to do with writing, as I said, I spent several hours preparing the system for the next two months.  I’ll see how it works, and if there are any little improvements I can make before spending a few more hours setting it up for the rest of the year.  But at several points while working on this, I thought to myself, I could be using this time writing a story.  Will this new system make me more productive with my scheduling resulting in more people finding me and learning about my books?  Probably not.  I did have a system, a clunky system I admit, but I knew how to work through the clunks.  But I wasn’t just cleaning the house, or whatever because I didn’t want to write, I was setting up a new system that was “writing related” which, is close enough.

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Image from Pixabay.

Writing business cards

Recently, I was doing some cleaning and I came across some business cards I made years ago.

I think, in some office supply store, I found a pack of blank business cards.  Each sheet had like ten cards you could separate, and the pack had four or five sheets.  On the pack there was a note about how it worked with some template in Word.  You filled out the template, then put the sheet in your printer, and you could even print on both sides.  And then you had business cards.

Part of why I wanted business cards was because there were businesses that had containers on the counter with signs like, “Put your business card in and we’ll draw one each week for a free pizza.” I wanted business cards to get free pizza (I never won any such drawing) but I also figured if the business card was interesting enough, it might get people to check my stuff out and maybe buy one of my books.  I could also leave them in places where people could find them and be intrigued.

So I needed something interesting to put on a business card.  I don’t remember if I came up with “Professional dreamer and destroyer of worlds” before I started making my business cards, but I figured it was perfect to be noticeable.  To explain, I think writers are professional dreamers.  We dream of something and, if we’re lucky, we get paid for it.  As to the destroyer of worlds, well, not to brag but with my bare hands I’ve driven humanity to extinction, twice.  At least twice.  More like four or five times, but some of those stories start with humanity extinct, so should they count?

Anyway, these cards are no longer good.  On the back I had my website and my writing email, which are still good, but I also had a writing blog I haven’t posted to for over a decade as well as my writing Twitter, which I don’t do anymore.  Should I make new ones?  I don’t know if I have any more blank sheets, and I don’t have a printer.  Plus, where I used to live there were dozens of pizza places within half-an-hour.  Where I live now, there’s … one.  Also, do places still do business card drawings?  I don’t go out much, but business cards seem more for businesses so customers can know their website and email, and not for people.  Of course, I could be wrong.  But I still don’t see much point for making new cards, even if all I’d need to do is update the back.

Writing so bad … it’s good?

I watch a bunch of YouTube movie reviewers. One topic that many of them discuss at some point are movies so bad they’re good. As they explain, the difference between bad-bad movies and good-bad movies is intention. The word that often comes up when discussing bad-bad movies is “cynical,” while the word for good-bad movies is often “inept.” Bad-bad movies are made by people saying, “X is popular, let’s slap together an X-movie as quickly and cheaply as possible so we can make money off suckers who’ll pay to see it.” Good-bad movies are made by people with a passion for the project, they just have no clue how to make a movie. The reviewers I watch – most of whom make their own films – get nothing from watching the bad-bad movies. They’re usually stupid and they see all the seams on how it was put together as quickly and as cheaply as possible. But the good-bad movies – which may be just as stupid – they are intrigued by the nuts and bolts. They often talk about staring at the screen repeatedly asking “Why?” Why did the filmmaker decide to film the romantic scene on the side of the road with trucks rumbling past? Why did they cut to Joe during the climactic battle for no apparent reason? And other such questions that even the filmmaker probably can’t answer. And as someone who has barely scratched the surface of bad movies, I can see the appeal. Of course, it may just be that the reviewers I watch look like they’re having a good time.

Now the point of this post, is that as a writer I was wondering if there are stories so bad that they’re good. And I … don’t know. I’ve read my fair share of bad stories, some inept and some cynical, but to me they’re usually just painful. For example, there was a story I read years ago that was serialized in a big-name magazine. In the first few sections, there were hints that this character had a secret plan to save the world. But once the plan was revealed, not only would it not work, it would make things worse. I admit, it took me a few seconds to work that out, but only because I didn’t think anyone could write something so stupid. I don’t want to shame the writer, or the magazine, but trust me, it was fifty pages on a secret plan to save the world only to get to “burn all the forests.” I don’t remember my exact response, but it was probably close to “Are you fucking serious?”

Having spent way too long thinking about this (this is the fourth or fifth draft) I think the difference between bad movies and bad stories is that there are limitations in filmmaking. The script says this scene takes place in a lawyer’s office, but we only have the budget to shoot in grandpa’s study. Law degrees and bowling trophies, same difference. And I can see how figuring out how the filmmakers worked through the problems they faced can be entertaining. But in theory, there are no limitations when writing. So when you write this prestigious law office filled with bowling trophies, it just seems wrong. I’m not saying there’s a definitive right and wrong way to write a story, but sometimes it’s just wrong. And that’s not entertaining, that’s confusing.

Anyway, am I wrong and there are good-bad stories? Maybe we can start a list.

Voter registration drive and book sale

I know a lot of people are tired of being told that every election for the past decade WILL DETERMINE THE VERY SURVIVAL OF THE NATION!  But it’s true.  The fastest way for the anti-democratic forces to fully seize power is if We The People can’t be bothered to vote.  And the anti-democratic forces already have too much power as it is.  To keep our democracy, we need to vote, in this election and every election.

But in order to vote, you need to be registered.  If you’re an American citizen who will be eighteen by Election Day, November 5th of this year, and you are not registered, I ask you to register.  Your state’s website should have all the necessary details.  And if you are registered to vote, I ask you to check your registration, which you should also be able to do on your state’s website.  The reason to check your registration is that the list of voters needs constant updating as people register, move, and die.  And even without nefarious voter purges, it’s possible for mistakes to happen.  If a mistake is caught early, it can be fixed early, and things can go a lot smoother for everyone come Election Day. 

Democracy only works if the people participate and the first step of participation is to take a few minutes and register to vote.  To help sweeten the pot, starting Monday, February 26th, I’ll be having a book sale for four of my ebooks.  Register, or check your registration, then grab some free books.  Well, there’s no way for me to check if you register, so we’ll just go on the honor system.  And if you aren’t an American citizen, then I’ll just ask that you participate in your country’s political system however you can, because the anti-democratic forces are not limited to the US.

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The following four ebooks will be free to download from Monday February 26th, through Friday March 1st.  I hope you enjoy, and I hope you’ll vote in the next election.

 

Political Pies

Everybody complains about politics, but does anyone do anything about it? My attempt to do something about it is to collect forty of my short stories with a political element into my Political Pies anthology. The stories are either politically neutral or equally condemning of the national parties. Instead of trying to sway you to one ideology or another, my goal is to just get people thinking about politics in the hopes a rose might grow out of all the political manure.

The Most Powerful Man in the World and other stories

The Most Powerful Man in the World and other stories is a collection of five, short, scifi stories to provide a sample of my writing.

A being from the distant future with almost unlimited powers comes back to help Ian Steele make the world a better place in “The Most Powerful Man in the World.” One bookstore customer has an entirely different reason for wanting books in “Black Market Books.” “Motherhood” tells the story of Thomas Gillespie, the surrogate mother for a baby AI. “Storyteller” is about an author thinking his book into existence. And “Deadworld” is about the alien world humans are reborn on – in alien bodies – after we die.

A Man of Few Words

A Man of Few Words is a collection of fifty of my flash fiction stories. What would really happen if a “T-Rex on steroids” attacked a city? Why do science fiction writers make the best lovers? How does a company get to Second Base with VIPs? I explore these questions and more using less than 1,000 words and in various genres from humor to horror and general fiction to science fiction.

An Ounce of Prevention

Like most people, Jason Fisher wanted to make the world a better place, but he doubted he would ever have the chance to make much of a mark. Then a “woman” came to him, asking his help to save humanity by threatening it.

Random Writing Tips – Prewrite your bio

 

I recently did something for the first time in a couple of years: I submitted a story.  As of the posting of this, I’m still waiting to hear back.  But the submission process brought back the scourge of many writers: the cover letter.  I don’t care for cover letters.  I prefer sites that just have a form you fill out with your name, story title, word count, etc. and they either take your story or they don’t, and that’s it.  For me, cover letters are like the About Me section on dating sites.  How do I make myself sound interesting without outright lying, and the feeling that no matter what I do, it’s wrong. 

Fortunately, the place I submitted to only wanted a brief bio, which, couldn’t that wait until after they buy a story?  Anyway, some years ago I wrote a couple brief bios so I could pick the best one for the situation.  Which is great, except I couldn’t remember which folder I put them in, so I had to rewrite a bio. 

So my tip is to prewrite a couple bios which you can just copy and paste into cover letters, maybe with some slight adjustments, and to keep them in a place you will remember.

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Image from Pixabay.