“Jedi ER”
Padawan
Tencoer stumbled into the Emergency Room of the Jedi Hospital. Stopping at the nurse’s station he gasped,
“You have to help me.”
The
nurse, an older woman with a hairdo the size and shape of an Zeqwinly ant
colony, did not even look up from her magazine, “Which limb was cut off?”
“Excuse
me?”
The
nurse took a deep breath, expelled it slowly out of her nose, and pausing after
each word asked again, “Which limb was cut off?”
A
cough brought Tencoer’s attention to the two padawans and Master Jimpoo sitting
in the little waiting room on his left.
One of the padawans was missing his left leg below the knee, and the
other was missing her left hand. Master
Jimpoo had lost both of his arms from below the elbow, and was Forcing a pen to
fill out the insurance paperwork.
Tencoer
looked back at the nurse and said, “Ah, none.”
She
turned a page, “Then why are you here?”
“I’m
sick. I think I got food poisoning from
the goulash in the cafeteria.”
The
nurse finally looked up. “What?” She
stood and looked over the counter, checking to see that he did have all of his
limbs. She then hit a button on her
desk. Klaxons sounded throughout the
building, and in a few seconds a doctor and orderly were standing by the nurse.
The
doctor, still holding his putter, asked, “Nurse Stalch, what is the meaning of
this?”
She
shut off the alarm and pointing at Tencoer, “This padawan is sick, possibly
food poisoning.”
“Food
poisoning?”
“From
the goulash,” Tencoer added.
The
doctor set his putter on the nurse’s station and turned to the orderly, “Don’t
just stand there man, get a wheelchair.”
When
the orderly returned shortly with the wheelchair, he, the doctor, and Stalch
helped Tencoer into it. As the orderly
started pushing Tencoer towards the Emergency Room, the doctor turned to Stalch
and said, “Watch my putter,” then followed his patient.
Stalch
sat back down and found her place in her magazine. Seconds later Master Jimpoo stood before
her. He read her name tag and said,
“Nurse Stalch I must protest. These Padawans,”
he pointed at the two in the waiting room with the stump of his left arm, “and
I have been waiting for over an hour, while that Padawan,” he pointed after
Tencoer with the stump of his right arm, “was rushed right in.”
As
she turned a page she replied, “He was sick.”
Jimpoo
held up his stumps, “This isn’t a case of the sniffles.”
Slamming
her magazine down, Nurse Stalch stood and glared at the Jedi Master. “Master Jimpoo, you should know that almost
half of the Jedi budget is spent on artificial limbs. Perhaps if you and those padawans would
suffer for a while, you would be more careful with your lightsabers in the
future.” With a “So there” nod she sat back down and picked up her magazine.
Jimpoo
glanced at the padawans, then pointed his right stump at Nurse Stalch’s
forehead. Moving his stump ever so
slightly, he said, “The doctor will see us now.”
Looking
up from her magazine Nurse Stalch replied in a soft monotone, “The doctor will
see you…” switching to her normal tone she continued, “…when he is ready to see
you and not a moment sooner, and if you try that again you’ll be missing all
your limbs.” She turned her chair away from Jimpoo and went back to her
magazine.
Jimpoo
returned to his seat with a frown. He
looked back and forth between the padawans and the nurse. Finally, addressing the padawan only missing
a hand, he said, “Padawan Vanan.”
“Yes
Master Jimpoo?”
“Go
to the cafeteria. See if they still have
any of the goulash.”
No comments:
Post a Comment